watch your step
by Sean Connelly
So I’m sitting at my desk today casually doing homework, because I’m a nerd, and I hear a heated argument happening in my common room. Now it’s very common for the morons I live with to fight about the dumbest stuff, last night’s fight was about whether the dragons in Avatar looked more like dragons or dinosaurs. They clearly look like dragons. Anyway as I walked out there, they were arguing about whether or not the new Facebook timeline sucked.
I just don’t get it at all. Facebook has been steadily changing the layout every six months to a year since the site came into existence. Literally, to me at least, the coolest thing about Facebook is the fact that they’re not content with the layout and are always trying to make it better. I bet you none of you remember what Facebook first looked like. It looked like this by the way:
Like, that layout is just the worst thing I’ve seen. Facebook even told you a year ago it was going to make the switch to timeline, they gave you a full year to decide whether you would like to take down all the material you thought would hinder your chances at a job or a relationship. A whole year! All everyone did was complain and complain about how Facebook didn’t have the right to change people’s profile around like that. Uhm, yeah they do bro. You signed an agreement allowing Facebook to do whatever they felt necessary when you decided to join the site. If you’re so mad about it why don’t you join a group like “Million Strong Against the New Facebook.” Those always make such a huge change. Newsflash Facebook currently has about 850 million users and counting, so your cool “Occupy Facebook til it changes back to normal” is literally less than one percent of Facebook. You are the exact opposite of the actual Occupy Movement, which is apparently still happening? If only there was a way to send messages and pictures that will never change. Oh wait there is! It’s called the U.S. Postal Service it hasn’t changed in like 200 years. So if you hate Facebook so much, jump on tumblr or twitter or pinterest. I’m sure Mark Zuckerburg won’t miss you considering he’s worth over 18 billion dollars, and that’s billion with a capital B.
If you like the new Facebook, you’re smart, you’re cutting edge; you’re cool. If you’re that kind of person you should like Project Landmine on the almighty book of faces.