watch your step
by Liz Davies
In theory, the movie Magic Mike should perform very well at the box office. A movie about a bunch of young, hot, jacked, oiled-up guys stripping sounds like a great idea. But when you look deeper into the marketing, trailers, and movie itself, it seems like this movie is destined to fail from the beginning.
The kind of audience that Magic Mike is going to attract isn’t really a group of people I want to be in an enclosed, dark area with for over two hours. The movie is targeted toward straight women and gay men, but marketing has only been aimed toward women so far. The movie trailer features droves of only women screaming for the guys on stage. The only possible draw is that one of the stars, Matt Bomer, is gay, but I’ve seen no marketing aimed toward gay men. So the people that I would be sitting in a movie theater with would be groups of loud girlfriends who are eagerly waiting for the next article of clothing the characters are wearing to fly off. And they’re definitely going to be vocal about that.
It’s usually a stretch to get guys to go to the movies to see romantic comedies anyway, but this one just seems like too much. Even the most loyal boyfriend is going to have a hard time sitting through this one. Ever heard the saying “never bring a sandwich to a buffet?” Why would any girl bring a guy to see this? That guy better get ready for death stares from the hormonal crazies in the theater, cause they’re immediately going to target him as the enemy for interrupting their girl’s night.
Don’t get me wrong; I love watching the trailer for this movie as much as the next gal. Channing Tatum and his greased-up buddies look impeccable ripping those camo-print shirts off. But why would I pay $12 at a movie theater full of eager middle-aged women when I can get the same thing out of watching the red-band trailer over and over again? I’m definitely not going to see this movie for the plot, so the trailer has already given away everything that I wanted out of this movie.
And I’m guessing that after the first weekend in the box office, this movie isn’t going to do so well in weeks to come. Critics are going to destroy Magic Mike. They’re going to see it as an easy target to express their snarky comments and just go at it. Unless there’s some sort of surprising plot twist halfway through which has escaped all previews, they’re going to find the weaknesses in this movie and kill it. It’s going to become the joke of the summer among respectable critics.
But if you’re still interested in seeing Magic Mike, here’s a tip for you: Joe Manganiello of
True Blood fame is in this movie. He’s the one who shows up dressed as a fire fighter and induces sweaty, heavy breathing from women everywhere. But if you watch HBO’s True Blood, you’ll get everything you could from this movie and more. Everyone’s naked all the time on True Blood. Just watch that for free online and you can get your fill of attractive, naked people (or vampires, fairies, and werewolves depending on what you’re into).
There’s no real logic to my arguments, just a hunch and some strong opinions. I’m by no means an expert in this field. But if you do decide to head out to theaters to see Magic Mike this summer, be sure to bring a seat cover. Because the ladies in that audience aren’t going for the artistic integrity or story lines.