watch your step
by Sean Connelly
Everyone knows Taylor Kitsch as America’s favorite fullback in the popular NBC series, “Friday Night Lights” in this series he plays Tim Riggins the oft-angry spark plug of the Dillon Panther football team. This is where Taylor first cut his acting teeth and this is where America first fell in love with him. Since “Friday Night Lights” though, Taylor has been sliding down the ranks as lovable actor and falling to flop status.
It was pointed out to me by my friend Adam, that during the run of the show you really saw little to no acting from Taylor as his two primary emotions were, angry or drunken rage. When I look back I have to agree, why did I think he had so much talent when in reality all he did was act angry for five seasons? The show overall was great and it’s a shame they decided to make it a show about high school, limiting it’s potential ten season run like every other show on television today. The movies he has done during and since the show though are terrible and, in my opinion, “Savages” is a real make or break role for this actor. Let’s take a trip down memory lane though and view the stink that is Taylor Kitsch, shall we?
The first big movie Taylor participated in was “John Tucker Must Die”. Now I’m sure if you’re anything like me you’re sitting there scratching your head and saying, “I’ve seen that movie dozens of times and I don’t remember him in it!” Well, no worries, you shouldn’t remember him in it. According to IMDB Kitsch plays Justin. I have absolutely no idea who that is but I doubt it’s a very important part because he’s listed in between Cute Boy and Skip #1. If I were a betting man I would say he’s probably in the background and has one line along the lines of, “Man, John Tucker is so cool. I wish I was him.” If you’ve never seen the movie here’s a quick summary: A boy dates like four girls at once and then they plot to get back at him, which they do. HOW CREATIVE!!!!!!!
After the winner that was “John Tucker Must Die” Taylor picked another great role for himself in “Snakes on a Plane”. What’s that? You’ve never seen it? Oh well let me summarize it for you. There’s snakes on a goddamn plane! The worst part though, Keenan Thompson is also on the plane trying to be funny. I would definitely take a deadly snake bite than listen to Keenan Thompson attempt to be funny. Anyways, back to Taylor, in this movie he plays Kyle. If I remember right, Kyle is some douchey guy with a smoking hot girlfriend. When Kyle decides to join the mile high club with his girlfriend a snake comes out of the toilet or something and kills them. I know that sounds horrible but it was at the beginning of the movie so, again, they didn’t have to listen to Keenan Thompson make a bunch of jokes that went over like a fart in church.
The next sure fire Oscar winner he picked was, “The Covenant” he played some werewolf or maybe witch, I’m not entirely sure but it’s him and four dudes running around fighting things. When I think about it, this movie could be just four guys high on bath salts. After this Kitsch took two years off from movie acting but resurfaced again in 2008 with “Gospel Hill” Danny Glover stars in it so…there’s that.
Finally a movie worth note in 2009, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” In this movie he played Remy LeBeau better known to comic book fans as Gambit. Unfortunately for him, he sucked at this job. I’ve seen this movie four or five times and he is just plain bad. He totally has the look of a superhero but for some reason he just couldn’t pull it off. You know it’s bad when Will I Am, yes the Prince of Siam, acts circles around you. A fun fact, Will I Am’s acting credits include “Entourage.”
I would’ve forgiven him too if he didn’t make “The Bang Bang Club” (side note: It’s on Netflix if you want to watch it). This movie follows four photographers in South Africa during the final days of the South African Apartheid. Now the movie itself is a very gripping piece, and the actors around him do beautifully. The cast includes, Ryan Phillippe, and Malin Akerman so the acting was meaningful and full of emotion. Now, I don’t want to say Taylor did a bad job here because he didn’t he did alright here. There in lies the problem though, he didn’t knock it out of the park and the only way you could have a truly meaningful performance on this film was by knocking it out of the park. I almost feel like he though by doing this movie it would establish him as an actor with range. This movie was ultimately a flop and I have to blame Kitsch for that. I think if you had gotten a real actor to play his part this would have been a great movie not just a good one.
After the failure there, Taylor decided, or maybe his agent I’m not totally sure to hop on the Disney money-making machine. He did this by signing on to play John Carter in Disney’s “John Carter” I didn’t watch the movie so here’s a summary by somebody who did: “John Carter, a Civil War veteran who in 1868 was trying to live a normal life, is “asked” by the Army to join. But he refuses so he is locked up. He escapes and is pursued. Eventually they run into some Indians and there’s a gunfight. Carter seeks refuge in a cave. While there he encounters someone who is holding some kind of medallion. When Carter touches it, he finds himself in a place where he can leap incredible heights, among other things. He later encounters beings he has never seen before. Later he meets a woman who helps him to discover that he is on Mars. And he learns there’s some kind of unrest going on.” So I mean good story line but an overall flop in the box office, I’m sure I’ll catch it one day on FX or something but until then, I’m not holding my breathe to see it.
Another action movie was in the works as he filmed “Battleship” wait, really? You knowingly signed onto a movie based on a board game? Taylor, let’s have a real talked for a second, I think it’s time you let your agent go. He has done nothing for you. Coincidentally, I represent a few clients and am always willing to take on one more. Anyways, this movie had Rihanna…wait really? Again Taylor, I’m available to represent you. It also had Liam Neeson but that kind of cancels out because Rihanna was in the movie.
Finally we come to the movie that will wash all of these flops away or forever stain Taylor Kitsch as an actor in flops. “Savages” on paper looks to be the sleeper movie of the summer. The plot line is fresh for today’s Hollywood, two pot dealers share the same girlfriend and she is kidnapped by a drug cartel so they go on a killing spree to get her back. The cast is filled with stars including Salma Hayek, Blake Lively, Benicio Del Toro, and John Travolta. Taylor, judging by the trailer, has gone back to his bread and butter by just being mad the whole movie. For me, this is his last chance. If this movie fizzles I just can’t sit and watch another Taylor Kitsch movie. What do you think, is “Savages” a make or break for Kitsch or do you think he’s already an actor that flopped?